I always win arguments with people on the internet because I do this super cool thing where I stop typing and log off.

16      0
When people ask, 'What the hell were you thinking?' Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.

23      0
Maybe the sun doesn't want to be called hot. Maybe it wants to be called beautiful.

20      0
When people see you lying down with your eyes closed and they have to ask, 'Are you sleeping?' 'No, I'm training to die.'

21      0
Perfect has 7 letters and so does 'meeeeee'. Coincidence? I think not.

18      0
Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment. That's because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.

13      0