I always win arguments with people on the internet because I do this super cool thing where I stop typing and log off.

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When people ask, 'What the hell were you thinking?' Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.

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Maybe the sun doesn't want to be called hot. Maybe it wants to be called beautiful.

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When people see you lying down with your eyes closed and they have to ask, 'Are you sleeping?' 'No, I'm training to die.'

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Perfect has 7 letters and so does 'meeeeee'. Coincidence? I think not.

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Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment. That's because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.

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