The freaky thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.

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That weird moment when someone you barely know ends up in your dream.

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I like sleeping because it's like being dead, without the commitment.

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If you were born in September, it's pretty obvious that your parents started their new year with a bang.

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Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?

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Farts are just the ghosts of the things we ate.

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