That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like, 'I've got nothing man.'
When I say that I won't tell anybody, my bestfriend doesn't count.
The best thing about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours. Left, right, middle, wherever.
My parents: You're beautiful.
Old people: I bet boys are chasing after you already.
Boys my age: Ew, what is that creature?
You know it is going to be a good story when it starts with: 'So this bitch...'
I'm in love with my bed.
We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock doesn't want us together. That jealous whore.
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