The people in horror movies would live so much longer if they listened to the audience.

19      0
I hate it when people stare at me and not say anything. Like come on, if you want an autograph, just ask.

14      0
Perks of being a woman: 
They think about whatever they want in public without worrying about boners.

7      1
Yelling inappropriate stuff when someone's on the phone with their parent.

10      0
'Can I ask you a question?'
'Didn't really give me a choice there, did you?'

12      0
I put the pro in 'procrastinate'.

12      0