I hate it when I sit down and my legs flatten out to approximately the size of Russia.

15      0
Periods are ridiculous. 
I shouldn't be punished for not being pregnant.

16      0
Best threesome ever:
Me, my pillow and my bed.

17      0
Ways to die: Steal my food.

11      0
'Quick! Everyone act natural!'
Everyone strikes the most unnatural pose ever.

21      0
My pillow by far is the most ridiculous hairstylist.

15      0