lolsotrue: #668
Look at your keyboard, 'U' and 'I' are next to each other.
Look below, 'J 'and 'K' are next to each other too.
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lolsotrue: #667
Yes officer, I did see the 'speed limit' sign, I just didn't see you.
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lolsotrue: #634
Boobs are proof that men can focus on two things at once.
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lolsotrue: #599
Annoying person: 'Aw you're cute when you're mad!'
Me: 'Keep it up and I'm about to get real adorable!'
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lolsotrue: #598
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
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lolsotrue: #591
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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