lolsotrue: #2095
You can trust your dog to guard your house, but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
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lolsotrue: #2094
That moment of shame when an automatic door wouldn't open for you.
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lolsotrue: #2086
'That's great dear', is grandma's version of 'Cool story bro'.
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lolsotrue: #2080
Yes, I know I can't sing.
Yes, I'm going to keep singing anyway.
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lolsotrue: #2045
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
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lolsotrue: #2043
How many times do I have to say 'excuse me' before 'get the hell out of my way' becomes acceptable?
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