Only trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie.

7      0
Given enough time, I'll make you regret that last statement. Sincerely, women.

10      0
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?

13      0
Nicknames are way more fun when people don't know they have them.

18      0
When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

16      1
If I were famous, I would knock on random people's doors and be like, 'Hello, yes it's me.'

31      0