Distance sucks. The kitchen is so far from the couch.

3      0
Pringles: The only chip company that doesn't sell air.

2      0
What flickering lights mean:
1% electrical problems
99% demons

1      0
I hate it when I sit down and my legs flatten out to approximately the size of Russia.

1      0
Periods are ridiculous. 
I shouldn't be punished for not being pregnant.

0      0
Best threesome ever:
Me, my pillow and my bed.

1      0