lolsotrue: #850

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

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lolsotrue: #815

Whenever your hands are occupied, that is when everywhere starts to itch.

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lolsotrue: #783

A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their WiFi.

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lolsotrue: #709

You want a perfect girl?
Go buy a Barbie.

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lolsotrue: #706

If your arm can't fit down a Pringles can, it's time to stop.

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lolsotrue: #653

Look for guys who have goals and crave success, because in 10 years 'swag' isn't going to pay the bills.

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