I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.

17      0
If you're in a relationship and all you do is cry everyday, you'll need to stop and ask yourself, 'Am I dating a human or an onion.'

17      0
Whatever 'serving size'. Don't act like you know me.

20      0
Dear Tuesday, nobody likes you either. You're just Monday's ugly cousin.

18      0
We had Social Networks when we were kids too. It was called 'outside'.

14      0
When people see you lying down with your eyes closed and they have to ask, 'Are you sleeping?' 'No, I'm training to die.'

17      0