Typing 'lmao' and knowing fine and well that your ass is firmly attached.

30      0
Sorry that offended you, I really didn't think you'd get it.

33      0
Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

29      0
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won't text me back.

43      0
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.

32      1
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones, we would be the healthiest people on the planet.

40      0