That one girl everyone likes but you hate because you know deep down she is evil.

31      0
The closest I've come to murder is holding my Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.

60      0
If I die in my sleep I can actually say I died doing what I love.

47      0
Capitalization is the difference between 'helping your Uncle Jack off a horse' and 'helping your uncle jack off a horse'.

30      0
How do parents expect good grades when I push on pull doors?

42      0
Typing 'lmao' and knowing fine and well that your ass is firmly attached.

29      0