When people tell me, 'You're gonna regret that in the morning', I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem solver.

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Research shows that in 100% of cases, when starting a sentence with 'If you ask me' almost always indicates that no one asked you.

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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

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Adults who complain about the younger generation are really just saying that their generation did a crappy job raising their kids.

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Dear auto correct, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.

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Have you ever became friends with someone and when you get to know them, it's like, 'no wait I don't like you, can we stop this friendship thing.'

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