You call me your best friend, but where were you when my selfie only had 4 likes?

31      0
I don't get older. I level up.

39      0
If a man says you're ugly, he's being mean. If a woman says you're ugly, she's envious. If a little kid says you're ugly, you're ugly.

28      0
The awkward moment when someone you hate thinks that their opinion is valid.

24      0
When people tell me, 'You're gonna regret that in the morning', I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem solver.

30      0
Research shows that in 100% of cases, when starting a sentence with 'If you ask me' almost always indicates that no one asked you.

26      0