Ladies, be careful if you wear spaghetti straps. It distracts boys because they'll think about pasta. They'll stop at nothing to get pasta.

9      0
I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember stuff and get really excited.

17      1
If you can't say anything nice, we should probably be friends.

8      0
When a girl says, 'lol have fun', I suggest you do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat, abort mission.

16      1
When people ask, 'What the hell were you thinking?' Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.

17      0
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that means that I can't have anymore food and I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment.

25      0