Funny how a dollar can look so big when you take it to church, and so small when you take it to the store.







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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!







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The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.







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'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot.







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Me: I'm actually happy right now.
Life: LOL one sec.







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Ever made fun of someone so much that you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?







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