Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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That  moment  when your laughing so hard and you accidently swallow your Tic Tac, then realized you wasted a whole Tic Tac.

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If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

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Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.

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I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.

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