I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.







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There are two kinds of people who don't say much: Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.







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People will believe anything if you whisper it.







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Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?







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No one is listening until you fart.







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How do 5 gay men walk?
In One Direction.







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