When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.







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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.







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I'll only stop loving you when
a mute guy tells a deaf guy,
that a blind guy, saw a legless guy walks on water.







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You & your rumors have
two things in common.
You're both fake and you both get around.







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It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.







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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. 
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.







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