You went out with my ex. Do you want my left overs from my sandwich too?

1      0
I'm a great multitasker. I can have multiple tabs opened all at the same time.

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I don't always have a cool Facebook status. But when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.

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5 Things I'm not lazy at: 
1) Eating. 
2) Drinking.
3) Online. 
4) Watching T.V.
5) Sleeping.

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Dear face wash commercial, people don't actually splash their face with water like that. Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet.

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My mom says it's her house, but when it's time to clean, it magically becomes my house too.

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