A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be in the next cell saying 'that was fucking awesome'.







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You can't make someone love you. All you can do is 
stalk them & hope they panic & give in.







4      0
When you're about to fart in a store, suddenly fifty billion people decided to go to that aisle.







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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.







2      0
God created men first, cause you always makes a rough draft before a masterpiece.







4      0
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.







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