Liking your own status on Facebook is like giving yourself a high-five.







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Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.







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Before sex: Help each other to get naked.
After Sex: Dress yourself only.
The Moral is: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.







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I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face.







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I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Some people seem to prefer the latter.







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Monday is like a whore that keeps coming back for more.







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