I hate when ugly people say they need their 'beauty sleep'. BITCH you need to hibernate.

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I don't get why in all scary movies the main character walks in a room saying 'hello'. Yeah, like the killer is going to answer you.

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You never realize what you have until it's gone. 
For example, Toilet Paper.

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Stop calling yourself sexy. 
The only thing you turn on is a microwave.

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When things get me down, I take a deep breath and go to my happy place. The fridge.

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Swearing: Because 'poopie pants' and 'meanie head' just doesn't cut it.

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