lolsotrue: #767
I stay up late every night and realize it's a bad idea every morning and I never learn.
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lolsotrue: #766
A hangover is not punishment for drinking too much last night but punishment for not continuing to drink in the morning.
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lolsotrue: #765
My neighbors liked my music so much they invited the police over to listen to it.
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lolsotrue: #764
Boy: Why do you wear a bra? You don't have anything to put in it.
Girl: You wear pants don't you?
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lolsotrue: #763
Facebook is for friends that are now strangers. Twitter and Tumblr are for strangers that should be your friends.
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lolsotrue: #762
During a 3am phone call:
'Are you asleep?'
'No, I'm skydiving.'
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