I don't lie, I just give the truth an extreme makeover.
I would just like to say that throughout all the years I've been a liar, not once have my pants caught on fire.
Pretending to care about what the birthday card says, but you really just want the money.
Once you hate someone, everything they do is annoying. 'Look at this bitch, eating those crackers like she owns the place.'
These days because of
smart phones, I now spend twice as long in the bathroom. Crapping has never been so awesome.
It is all about how you view things. The sinking of the Titanic was really a miracle for all those lobsters in the kitchen.
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