The freaky thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.

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Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

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Inspirational status of the day: Don't be a douche.

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The best kinds of laughter: Laughing so hard your laugh becomes silent.

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Ever had that feeling where you just want to jump right out of bed? Me neither.

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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I am totally flexible.

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